Mahsa & Marjan Vahdat featuring Melissa Etheridge - "I Shall Be Released"

absolutely beautiful......

Marjan Vahdat featuring Melissa Etheridge - "I Shall Be Released"

This is my little gift to you today.

I don't know why I've felt kind of "stuck" in the writing department.  Nothing seems to come into my head when I try to think about blogging.  But time is a-wasting and today I felt a little tickle back in my fingers so lets see what comes out.......

Status update:  Things are pretty much the same, ups and downs with Sweet Love.  We have days were we are so in-sync and then we have days were the pressure of our situation "gets" to one of us and there is an explosion.  It's so hard to love someone with your entire being but at the same time feel like nothing will ever change.  It's a roller coaster of emotion.  Anger at the situation, anger at the other person, anger at the world, acceptance, love, trying to imagine if somehow you could just let go and find happiness that is more tangible.  But, how to you break a line between two souls?

Things with H. are actually surprisingly calm.  He has actually been NICE to me and acting human.  I asked him if he had a girlfriend - he said no.  I asked him if he was on anti-depressants - he said no.  Hmmmm, very curious.....  well, I just hope it lasts.

I have always felt this really strong pull towards some unknown place of inner peace.  It started out so intangible and over the years I have realized that when I keep this "feeling" present inside me, I move just a tiny bit closer to this "thing".  During the times I let go of this idea, I seem to move further into chaos and angst.  I have realized that I've really travelled a huge distance on this road over the past 2 years.  I had made little steps in the 20 years prior but the last 2 years feels like things have really become clear in terms of what I need to actually do, how I need to actually live, to start to live the peace, not just strive for it and catch glimpses every once in a while.  I have been doing so much reading and listening to those enlightened souls who can put into words and music, this intangible feeling I have lived with.  Listening to them has really helped me focus in on what speaks to me and helped me focus in and find the words I was looking for during all this time.  Some of the things that are really inspiring me right now are Marianne Williamson's "EveryDay Grace" (sorry I know I should underline the titles but I can't find my underline tool :)))  Herman Hesse's "Siddartha", and Don Miguel Ruiz's "The 4 Agreements".

I hope you all are finding some peace.  I guess it's the struggle of human's back until the beginning of time.

Love & Peace.
S.